When It All Starts Over Again
by thishereisreal
Summary: Post Entrada, but I wrote it before Marionette, so it veers from the story at that point. Told in Over Here/ Over There format. What happens to both sides when the truth comes out.
1. Chapter 1 The Differences

******* So yes, this is post Entrada, but my version of Marionette, basically. I wrote this before the episode aired, but then got caught up in other things and never got a chance to post this before the episode aired. So now I look like an idiot because obviously, this isn't what happened. I don't own any of the characters, but a girl can dream. I hope this makes sense/ there aren't any typos/ the grammar is fine. THIS IS MY FIRST EVER FAN FICTION. I'm really nervous. **

**CHAPTER 1: THE DIFFERENCES (OVER HERE)**

Everything was different, and Olivia Dunham didn't know why.

Ever since her return, the people she was closest to have become distant. Astrid was busy in the lab, unable to come visit her in the hospital where they were making her stay for a few nights for observation. Broyles wanted to come see her, but was dealing with "personal issues" Olivia was told she would soon be aware of. Walter kept his distance only because Olivia asked. The first time he came to see her, every muscle in her body tensed for fight or flight when she saw him. She knew it wasn't fair—because this Walter Bishop wouldn't hurt her now, but it had become instinct. The eight weeks she had spent on the other side had rewired every connection she ever knew.

Especially Peter.

She wanted him closer. She needed to see his face, to be sure that he was real and not just a projection her mind wanted her to see. When he was by her bedside she never took her eyes off of him. Ever since she woke up, to find his face staring down at her, she hadn't been able to look away. Olivia knew she was showing too much emotion, she was letting Peter know how badly she had missed him—and how much she needed him.

She thought it would make Peter closer. He had always said _"isn't the point of having people who care about you in your life... to have someone to talk to when you're scared?" _Well, she was terrified—of Walter, of somehow still being pulled back over to the Other Side again, of losing Peter. So she clung to him, the one person she was sure cared for her.

But Peter seemed more distant than he ever was. He was there physically, but she knew from the look in his eyes that he was somewhere else entirely.

He hardly ever made eye contact with her. It was as if he was intentionally avoiding looking into her eyes. He seemed almost… afraid of her.

For reasons she couldn't explain, she was losing Peter. He was slipping away from her, minute by minute. She could feel a wall forming between them. She wanted to tear it down, brick by brick. But before she could even start, Peter had vanished behind it.

He was hiding something from her.

"You ready to go?" Peter asked her. Olivia was standing at the edge of her hospital bed. She was glad to finally be able to go back home—but for the first time she realized what that meant. Going home meant being alone. And ever since her return that was the one thing that frightened her the most. When no one was with her in the hospital room, she began panicking. Her fears seemed closer, and she couldn't stop the nightmares from coming. When she was alone, the images of needles and saws filled her mind. She could hear Walternate's voice telling men to subdue her. She could feel their vice like grip on her arms as they pinned her down. She felt lost in her own mind. Olivia didn't want to feel that way anymore—and with Peter, she didn't. She knew who she was when he was around.

She turned around and nodded. Peter picked up her bag and led the way out of the room. Olivia was reminded of the last time she had returned to this universe and had been hospitalized. _"Oh, you can carry my suitcase."_

She almost smiled at what now appeared to be such a lighthearted memory. Why had everything become so much more complicated?

In her mind, Olivia knew it all stemmed from a lie. Everything changed the moment she saw the glimmer around Peter, and knew what it meant. When Peter found out the truth, he was hurt. Not only had Walter—the man he thought of as his _father_—lied to him, but Olivia had lied to him. The two people he trusted the most had deceived him. He was angry with them from keeping the secret for so long, for not telling him what he had a right to know. So he left. He followed his _real_ father back to his _real_ home.

And Olivia knew she had to get him back. Even before she discovered he was in danger on the Other Side, Olivia was trying to come up with a plan to get him back. All she could think about was making sure he came back safely.

She crossed universes to rescue him. On the surface, it was to save him from Walternate, and to make sure the machine didn't destroy their world. But deep down, Olivia went to the Other Side for her own reasons. She couldn't bear the thought of living without him. She had been completely open with him on the Other Side; she told him _he belonged with her_. It wasn't something she was comfortable with sharing, being open with someone she cares about wasn't a strong suit. But Olivia felt it was so important that Peter knew how she felt, that she disregarded any uneasiness she had.

And look where it got her. Trapped in an alternate universe for two months, while her doppelganger lived her life and reaped the benefits of what she had said. _You belong with me_. Peter had come back for her, but he found someone else entirely.

The car ride was quiet, too quiet for Olivia. It was as if she was the projection, and Peter was ignoring her, like she had ignored him so much for the past eight weeks. Why was he ignoring her?

Olivia recognized where they were headed and perked up. Even though she would have to face Walter again, she knew he would at least talk to her, try to make her feel better with one of his jokes. Maybe Astrid would be there to lend her kind smile.

God she had missed the lab.

Peter parked the car and turned off the engine. "It's so good to be back," Olivia mumbled and Peter glanced over at her, giving her a small smile.

"I bet," he said. Olivia noticed how emotionless he was. She followed him as he walked through the campus and to the lab. She passed through the threshold and couldn't contain the smile from forming on her lips.

It was just as she had imagined it. Gene was in her stall, mooing. Astrid was smiling at her, coming up to pull her into a hug. "It's good to see you again, Olivia," she said.

"Thanks," she said and instantly felt lighter. Walter was sitting in the back, twirling a Red Vine in his hand unconsciously.

"Agent Dunham!" he said excitedly. Olivia's body stopped moving. Her instinct told her to run—to flee and put as much distance as she could between herself and Walter. But instead, she forced herself to smile at him.

"Hello, Walter." He smiled back at her, delighted that she seemed to be over her aversion to him. He bounced off the chair and approached her.

"It is so good to have you back." Olivia smiled and then Walter unexpectedly pulled her into a hug. It was so unlike him, that she stood frozen as he released her.

"Oh! Oh, dear," Walter mumbled and stepped away from Olivia shamefully when he realized she was immobilized.

"I'm sorry."

"No! Don't apologize! I understand. When you come back, the damage can be… irreparable." As he finished his sentence, he turned his head to where Peter was standing off to the side, watching their little family reunion. Peter scowled at his father. Olivia felt out of the loop, but was sure someone would fill her in on what had just passed between the Bishops.

"We were all so worried, Olivia," Walter babbled, filling in the silence with chitchat. "I can't even begin to imagine what happened to you."

At his words, everyone fell silent. Olivia felt all eyes on her, and she fidgeted uncomfortably. She knew this moment would come. They were going to ask her to talk about her time on the Other Side. But she had already decided in her mind—it wasn't even a decision she made, she just knew—that she wouldn't tell them everything.

She would keep the pain to herself. No one needed that burden on their shoulders. She was strong enough to handle it on her own.

"But you must be exhausted," Walter was still rambling, but Olivia was caught in her own head. At those words though, an automatic response escaped her lips.

"Yeah, I guess I am."

"We should get you home then," Peter piped up. Olivia turned to look at him. He was looking in her direction, but his eyes were focused past her. He wouldn't look directly at her. She willed him to look at her, but her pleading eyes did no good.

"Um…" Olivia started. She noticed the room had fallen silent again. She froze. She didn't want everyone to hear what she was about to ask. She didn't want them thinking she was weak and breakable.

"Agent Dunham, we can't possibly expect you to stay alone, not now at least," Walter interjected. She sighed in relief. Walter was giving her the perfect opportunity.

"Aw, you don't have to do that."

"No, no, I insist," Walter said. "Your ordeal must have caused mental anguish. I would much prefer if you came home with us." Olivia looked up at Peter to gauge his reaction. He was once again staring behind her. "So I could keep an eye on you."

Olivia nodded and Walter smiled. "Good, now that that's settled, who's up for a root beer float?"

Peter smiled lightly. "Now's not the time, Walter." Walter's face dropped, but he understood. Peter began edging towards the door and everyone followed. Astrid gave Olivia one last hug good bye and left. Peter and Olivia waited patiently for Walter to close up the lab.

The car ride to the Bishops was much more relaxed. Walter kept a constant babble, and Peter stretched the conversations, trying to avoid any long periods of silence. As he pulled into the driveway, Walter addressed Olivia. "There's a spare bedroom upstairs."

"That sounds perfect," Olivia said, and she was telling the truth. She had gotten what she wanted, people around her so she wouldn't be alone.

Peter took her suitcase to the bedroom and Olivia followed Walter into the kitchen, where he began making himself a snack. Olivia wandered through the house, picking up pictures and old dusty records. Walter joined her and started explaining the stories behind each picture.

"Taken when Peter was six," Walter said of a family portrait. "Before all of this madness had even started."

Olivia stared at the smiling boy in the picture, sitting between his parents. He didn't look sick. He didn't look like he could be dying. But Olivia knew that only one year after this picture was taken, everything would be different. This Peter would be dead, and Walter would cross between the universes to save the Peter she knew.

It was strange to her knowing that the Peter she loved wasn't from here. She shouldn't know him. And yet if she didn't, nothing would be the same. If the other Peter had survived, would he be anything like the one she knew?

"Whatcha looking at?" Olivia startled as Peter entered the room. Walter showed him the picture, and Peter took it between his hands. He glanced at the faces and placed it back on the mantle. He knew that it wasn't really _him_ in the picture. "Your room's all set up," he said to Olivia. She nodded. "Come on, let me show you where it is."

She followed him upstairs. "The bathroom's right here," he said as they passed a closed door. "Feel free to take anything you need. And I can go to the store and get anything. Just ask."

"I'll be fine," Olivia said. Peter pointed to another closed door. "My room," he said and Olivia nodded. "And here's yours," he said, opening the last door in the hallway. He flicked on the light, which shone on the bed and dresser.

"It's not much," Peter admitted, "but with Walter I figured we wouldn't ever have many guests over."

Olivia laughed, but Peter didn't.

"And that's been the grand tour," Peter said with a smile.

"Thanks," she answered with her head down. "And thank you for letting me stay. I—uh—didn't want to go back home just yet. I guess it still hasn't set in that I'm safe now."

She raised her eyes, to find Peter looking at her. But they weren't showing what she expected. They were incredibly sad, as if her words had hurt him.

"You're safe now, Olivia," he said and finally gave her what he wanted. He closed the distance between them and embraced her. She let herself fall into his body and feel the warmth coming from him. At that moment, in Peter's arms, she felt safe. Peter placed his chin on her head and held her tightly. He hated lying—especially to Olivia.

But what made it worse was that the truth would hurt her even more than the lie.


	2. Chapter 2 The Differences

***** I wrote this very fast and I hope there aren't any typos or obvious grammar errors but if there are, I deeply apologize. I usually am a grammar/ editing freak but I just wanted to post this chapter so I could post the next chapter :D**

**CHAPTER 2: THE DIFFERENCES (OVER THERE)**

Everything was different, and Olivia Dunham knew why.

Ever since her return to her proper universe, she had become distant with the people she once regarded as friends. She avoided Charlie's piercing stares and the questions he fired at her regarding insignificant details of their friendship. Astrid had tried to be friendlier to her, but she had a hard time looking at her properly without seeing the other Astrid flash before her eyes. Then there was Lincoln, one of her best friends. She felt as if she had betrayed him somehow. Coronel Broyles had been missing from work for the past two days. And she knew why.

Deep in her bones, Olivia knew what had happened. No one had told her the specifics yet, but she had been called into the Secretary's office this morning to discuss her mission. She was going to get some answers.

"Good morning, Agent Dunham," Walter Bishop addressed her when she opened the door. He was standing in front of his desk expectantly. It shocked Olivia at first to see him standing so proper, in a suit and tie, his hair neatly combed back. In the past eight weeks, she had grown used to the disheveled Walter with his cardigans and loafers, messy hair and the unmistakable odor of manure.

Even the way the two Walters spoke was so _different_. The Walter on the Other Side always spoke with a touch of fear. She assumed it was because he was afraid of being sent back to St. Claire's. He was unsure of his own sanity. He hardly believed what he was saying. This Walter on the other hand, the one standing before her, was so confident. Every word had a purpose, and carried weight. Nothing he said was insignificant. He immediately commanded her attention, and her respect.

She wondered briefly what had made the two men turn out so differently when they were so similar. It took her all of two seconds to come up with the answer. Peter. One Walter had lived with Peter, the other had lived without.

And Olivia knew the other Walter was to blame. Any remorse she felt for the other Walter disappeared. It wasn't her job to feel sorry for him. And she didn't. His insanity was his own doing. He had brought it on himself.

"Good morning, Mr. Secretary."

"Come, sit," Walter said, guiding Olivia back to his desk. She took a seat in front of him, and he sat in his tall chair. He eyed her up and down, searching for any sign of a change in her. She looked just like she had before she left. Her hair was back to its normal auburn and she was smiling broadly.

"How have you been adjusting?" he eventually asked.

Olivia gave him a coy smile. "It's been much easier than trying to adjust to being someone else."

Walter smiled. "That's not what I meant."

"I know." Olivia suddenly didn't know what to say.

Should she tell him the truth? Should she say how guilty she'd been feeling? How awful she felt every time she saw one of her friends, and knew they had been living without her for the past eight weeks without knowing she was even gone? The second Lincoln had approached her on her first day back and said, "_It's like nothing ever happened_" she knew they had no idea about the switch.

Not only had she stolen the other Olivia's life, but the other Olivia had stolen her life.

She didn't know this was going to be part of the plan.

"They never figured it out, did they?" she asked Walter, hiding her disappointment behind her smile. He smiled back, obviously very proud of the work he had accomplished. He was oblivious to the storm brewing behind Olivia's eyes. She didn't like being left out of the loop.

"No."

Olivia nodded, her bangs bouncing on her forehead. _How had they not known?_ It wasn't at all like what she had done to prepare for her role as the other Olivia. She had practiced and studied her alternate self and her friends and family. She had spent so much time perfecting her role.

What had the other Olivia had?

"We injected her with your memories," Walter began. Olivia looked up, hopeful for the first time. "In time, she thought she was you. She had your memories and your personality."

Olivia felt relieved. So that explains how no one could tell the differences. But it didn't explain…

"But why, sir?"

Walter leaned in towards Olivia, and she waited for him to drop what was going to be a big reveal on her. "We needed her to trust us, so we could test her abilities."

"Abilities?"

Walter smiled and paused for emphasis. "The other Olivia Dunham is able to cross between the universes."

_"How?"_

Now Walter smirked, unable to contain his glee. "We found a high amount of a stimulating drug in her brain. It allows her to cross naturally."

Something in Olivia' brain clicked, but she didn't say anything. She remembered reading something strange in the other Olivia's file during her time on the other side. _Cortexiphan_. Olivia looked at her hands and placed them on the desk. The thin marks where the rods had been injected into her skin were visible to both of them.

"She does not need to have a reciprocated mass to replace her when she crosses."

Realization dawned on Olivia. "You didn't replace me with her, did you?"

For the first time, Walter's smile flickers. His face turns to stone. "No, for your return, we did not switch you with the other Olivia. She escaped."

Olivia knew better than to ask how. Instead she waited for Walter to continue. "It appears I have underestimated their Olivia. She duped Colonel Broyles. In addition to her ability to cross between universes, she has a few more tricks up her sleeve. He unwillingly helped her return home."

Olivia's mind whirled at the onslaught of information. How much of what the Secretary was telling her was true? She had studied the other Olivia's file while she was on the other side. She knew about the drug trials conducted on her as a child, about the Cortexiphan. It must have been what enabled her to cross between the universes. But there was no indication their Olivia could do anything else out of the ordinary, except maybe having a photographic memory for numbers.

Their Olivia was just an ordinary woman, as far as she could tell. She had been living the other Olivia's life for the past eight weeks, she knew all about her. As far as Olivia could tell, her doppelganger on the other side wasn't extraordinary—which meant there was a chance they could win this war.

There was nothing special about the other Olivia Dunham that would give them the upper hand—especially now that they had samples of Cortexiphan.

And knowing Olivia—_because she was Olivia_— she was convinced that Colonel Broyles was not duped. He knew exactly what he was doing when he helped the other Olivia return home. Which begs the question… why?

She couldn't come up with a reasonable response to that. Broyles? Betray his world? That didn't sound like her boss.

"It appears that after a few weeks, the other Olivia began gaining her own memory back. She was herself again. And with her newfound memories, she regained her abilities. She used Colonel Broyles to escape," Walter continued. "We were ready to send Olivia to replace you, to bring you home, when Colonel Broyles helped her escape from our lab. He took her to my old lab at Harvard, and she used the deprivation tank to cross over."

_But why would he do that?_ The question swirled in Olivia's head, and she couldn't come up with an answer. She was convinced that he had known what he was doing. _So why would he risk everything, his wife, his children, his world for a woman who would destroy theirs in a heartbeat?_

Walter sighed, bringing Olivia back to reality. "I underestimated her."

"Sir, what happened to Colonel Broyles?"

Walternate gave no indication that he was joking. "By the time my men arrived at the lab, he was dead."

Shock flashed through Olivia. Now she doubted the Secretary's story even more. Why would Olivia kill the one person who was helping her? She wouldn't.

Deep down, Olivia knew the Secretary was lying to her. But she couldn't voice her opinions.

"Which brings us back to you, Agent Dunham."

Olivia looked up at the Secretary, who was smiling at her. It was as if they hadn't just discussed the death of a colleague. Why did he look so smug?

"Sir?"

"We are going to need a new head of the Fringe Division." Walter paused. "If you are up to the job, I believe your experiences on the other side make you more than qualified for the position."

"You asked me here to give me a promotion?" she asked before she could stop herself. He didn't care about Broyles' death or her time on the other side. He was already moving on, initiating another phase of the plan.

Now that she thought of it, the Secretary hadn't once asked her about her time on the other side. He hadn't asked about his son, or Newton. He was so single minded. Olivia missed the other Walter, the one who thanked her when she brought him treats. The one who had a cow in his lab. The one whose smile was earned, not given out freely.

_Wait. No. I'm not supposed to like him. I'm not supposed to be on his side. He is the reason why the war started. He is the reason why my whole life has been turned upside down. _

"If you take this position, you can help restore the balance. We can make sure Colonel Broyles did not die for nothing."

Olivia knew that taking that job would give her more power, more control. And control is all she ever really wanted. But maybe this time she could use it differently.

"So, what do you say, Agent Dunham?"

She smiled at the Secretary and shook his hand.


	3. Chapter 3 Crashing Down

******* Okay, so I wrote this part before Marionette, but after watching the episode, I changed some of the dialogue to mirror Marionette somewhat. Once again, I own nothing. **

**CHAPTER 3: CRASHING DOWN (OVER HERE)**

It had been exactly one week that Olivia had been staying with the Bishops. She had been back to work for six days, and they already had solved another case. But her relationship with Peter had been icy. She wanted to talk to him, but Peter had not let himself be left alone with her yet. And she didn't want anyone else knowing. She learned from her relations with John Scott that work romance didn't end well.

Olivia was eating breakfast at the small table in the corner of the kitchen when Peter entered. He never ate breakfast with her. This morning however, he poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down opposite her.

"Olivia, we need to talk."

Olivia sighed. She suspected this was coming. Peter was looking at her as he waited for her answer.

"Okay," she said, bracing herself for the moment of truth. This was it. She was finally going to be in on the secret Peter had been hiding from her. She had wanted to know from the very first moment she realized something was wrong, but she knew what it was like keeping a secret. She had kept Peter's identity a secret from him for a few weeks, and he knew something was wrong. But he never asked.

"I'm going to tell you everything," Peter began. "And I know you're going to want to interrupt, but can you please let me finish first?"

He had been looking at her the entire time he said this. Olivia noticed it was the first time the whole week he had even looked at her. "Okay," she agreed.

Peter took a deep breath, but he didn't look down at his hands like he wanted to. He knew he owed it to Olivia to look her in the eyes as he said, "I thought she was you."

Olivia bit her lip. This was not going where she had hoped. While on the Other Side she had been so consumed with staying alive and finding a way back, she hadn't even considered what was going on Over Here. But upon her return, she began wondering silently to herself, _why hadn't anyone helped her?_

"I came back because of you. Because of what you told me that night."

_You belong with me._

"It wasn't you who had come back with me," Peter continued. "I didn't know that, of course, but I should have realized. But I couldn't get what you had said out of my head. You said I belonged with you. It was the first time you had ever been truly open with me. You admitted that you needed help. And I knew then that you needed me just as much as I needed you."

Olivia waited patiently for him to continue, but Peter was struggling to find the right words.

"So when we came back, I thought all the changes in you were because of me. I thought I was making you happy, Olivia, I really did. I thought the darkness in your eyes was gone because I drove it away. I thought you were laughing more because you found me funny. One night, the other Olivia told me that going to the other side had changed her outlook on life, and I believed that. It explained the changes and allowed me to brush off the obvious differences."

He paused again. Olivia was still waiting for the worst part. Something else happened.

"And we became closer."

Olivia couldn't take her eyes off of Peter. As he told his side of the story, the anguish was rolling off of him. Olivia could feel it in the air. He felt so guilty and ashamed that he didn't know he had fallen deeper in love with the wrong her.

"Did you…?" The question fell from Olivia's lips before she had a chance to stop it. Peter lifted his eyes and locked them on hers. They stared at each other for what felt like eons. He nodded.

"I'm sorry, Olivia," he whispered throatily. "When she asked me to come over…"

A strange humming sound filled her ears. She should be upset—she should want to curl into herself and cry. But she couldn't bring herself to do that just yet. Maybe later, when she was alone. But now, she was angry.

"How did you not know?"

Peter remained silent.

"Do you really think_ I_ would do that? It has taken me two years to even admit to myself that I have feelings for you."

"Olivia…"

"No, Peter," she said, raising her voice. "Do you know what I saw? On the Other Side, when I was alone and knew no one would help me return home?"

Olivia watched, and waited for Peter to lower his eyes in shame, but he continued to look directly at her, and wait for her to destroy him with what was coming next.

"I saw you."

Peter swallowed, and tried to force himself to keep looking at her. He didn't know just what Olivia had meant before when she said he had saved her life.

"You were just a figment of my imagination. But I _held_ onto you, and it wasn't reasonable, and it wasn't logical. But it was all I had. So when you told me I needed to remember you, that I needed to go back home to you, I did. And all this time, you were sleeping with her."

"Olivia, please…"

"No, I don't care what you say. I understand the facts. I know she was well informed of my life, and the people I was close to. I know she was good at her job. I just thought maybe you were, too. You've known me for two years, Peter. You had no excuse."

"You have every right to be mad at me," Peter said, trying to keep his voice calm while still raising it to speak over her. "But I want you to know that I thought I had made you happy. I noticed the differences, but I thought it was because you had finally opened up to me."

"Peter, I can't handle this anymore," Olivia admitted and stood up. "I need to go back home, to my apartment."

"Olivia, that's where…"

"I know," she interrupted and Peter shut up. Olivia walked calmly up the stairs and into the guest bedroom. Tears threatened to fall down her face, but she wouldn't let herself cry here.

What had she been expecting? She had been missing for eight weeks. When Peter had been taken to the Other Side by Walternate, they recovered him in a few _days_. She had known no one would help her get back home, but a small part of her still held out hope that they were trying their best to get her back. To know that no one really knew her, no one noticed she was gone, that hurt. And to think, the other Olivia had stolen her life. She had been living in her apartment, wearing her clothes, sleeping in her bed. Sleeping with Peter in her bed. She had taken everything.

A single cry escaped her lips before Olivia collected herself and the items strewn about the room. She looked at her pale reflection in the mirror. Her blonde hair was back, pulled into a ponytail. Other than the bags under her puffy eyes, she looked like her old self again. She took a deep, calming breath, knowing there was one last confrontation with Peter before she would be able to escape this house, and headed back downstairs.

She found the front door blocked by Peter. He held his hands in front of him, as if he expected her to pull a gun on him. "Olivia, I can't let you leave like this."

"Let me go."

"No, Olivia, I want you to know how _awful_ I feel. I thought what we had was real, but it wasn't. I thought Walter and my mother were real, but they weren't. Everyone I have _ever_ cared about has lied to me," he said through gritted teeth. "I didn't know who to trust."

"Peter," Olivia whimpered. "They brainwashed me. They had me tied to a bed and they injected me with _her_ memories, _her_ mind. I couldn't even trust my own thoughts."

Peter didn't know what to say. Olivia had never told him what she went through on the Other Side. So he instinctively raised his hands to place them on her face, but stopped himself. That wouldn't make her feel any better.

"They made me think I was her. And just when I was almost completely gone, I saw you. My mind showed me _you_, telling me I belonged with you, that I had to get back home to you, that you were _real_."

The guilt Peter had felt before was nothing to what came over him now.

"And I came back. I came back for you, Peter."

When she said his name, so broken and fragile, he knew the consequences of his actions. He knew she wouldn't forgive him. He hadn't expected forgiveness, but he had to hope. But there was nothing left to hope for.

"I am real, Olivia," he said. "How I feel about you is _real_." He lifted his hand gently to her arm. When he touched her, she tried to recoil, but she caved in. She craved his touch. Half of her mind thought it was the projection of Peter, back to save her again. He rubbed his fingers gently over her skin. But reality crashed back down on Olivia.

"Real is just a matter of perception," Olivia whispered before pulling away from him. She shoved past him and opened the door before he could even stop her. He watched as she made her way down the street, her words ringing in his ears.


	4. Chapter 4 Crashing Down

*** Hello dear readers! Thank you for stopping by and reading my fic. I appreciate and love every one of you. In my writing, I love making parallels between the corresponding chapters, so try to catch all the references I make to the last chapter in our universe. Anyways, as usual, nothing is mine. And reviews are greatly appreciated, I LOVE ANY FEEDBACK. I'm new at all this, so tell me if there is something I'm doing wrong. Thank you.* **

**CHAPTER 4: CRASHING DOWN (OVER THERE)**

It had been exactly one week that Olivia had been staying with her mother. She had been back in her universe for that same amount of time, and had yet to return to her apartment with Frank. He was still gone in North Texas, but she couldn't even handle going back to her old apartment at all, with or without Frank.

She felt guilty just thinking about him. Her feelings were confusing her. Every time she thought of what she had done, a part of her felt happy. But she shouldn't feel good about what she had done. She had betrayed the man that loved her, and the man that she loved in return. She loved Frank. Not Peter. _Right?_

Olivia was eating breakfast in the small table in the warm-yellow kitchen. She could remember convincing her mother to paint the walls yellow, to add a bit of cheer to the room. She was reminiscing about that day when her mother entered the kitchen with a sigh. Olivia knew why her mother was upset. Her mother knew something was wrong, but Olivia wouldn't budge. No matter how many times she pleaded to know what was wrong, Olivia just smiled and said her auto-response, "Nothing."

She was keeping her troubles to herself, and not letting anyone in. It was something the other Olivia did. Not her. She had never bottled up everything inside before. She had always felt like she could trust the people in her life with anything. Until now. She could always tell her mother anything before. But what was she supposed to say? Nothing Olivia said to justify why she had been so isolated and withdrawn would be an acceptable response.

This morning though, her mother had had enough of the "I'm fines" and the "Nothings." She just wanted to help her daughter.

"Olivia, we need to talk."

She looked up innocently, as if she had no idea what her mother meant. Marilyn sat down in the chair opposite Olivia and waited for her to spill her heart. But she didn't. Olivia kept quiet, and it was this simple action, or non-action, that led to Marilyn breaking.

"What happened to you, Olivia?" She leaned forward in her chair, placing her hands on her daughter's. Olivia pulled her hands away.

"I don't know what you mean," she shot back.

"Yes, you know exactly what I mean. For the past two weeks, you haven't been yourself. First, you're acting strange, ignoring my calls and forgetting our lunch plans. Then you don't come home for three nights and when I call your office, I get your voicemail. Then all of a sudden, you're on my doorstep practically begging to stay with me. No explanation, nothing. I'm just worried, Olivia. What happened with Frank?"

Olivia finally raised her eyes to meet her mother's. She's surprised that her mother assumed it had anything to do with Frank that she finally started to tell the truth.

"It wasn't Frank."

"Then who was it?" her mother asked gently. She touched Olivia's hand once again, but this time Olivia didn't shy away. "Lincoln?"

Olivia smiled at the absurdity. She knew better than to have a relationship with someone on her team. She only wished the other Olivia had known this as well.

"No, it wasn't Lincoln. He had nothing to do with it."

"Olivia, you can tell me what happened. I'm your mother, and I love you. I will always love you, no matter what."

Olivia swallowed back the tears that had threatened to escape. She shouldn't be crying, it meant being weak. It meant admitting everything that happened to her in the past nine weeks had indeed taken its toll, no matter what she tells anyone at work. But Olivia missed her mother so much during her time on the other side.

"Mom…" Her voice came out hushed and broken. She couldn't believe she's telling someone this. She's going to sound insane. But someone needed to know. Olivia couldn't keep this secret bottled up inside any longer. She'd burst. "I'm going to tell you everything. And I know you're going to want to interrupt, but can you please let me finish first?"

Her mother was taken aback, but nodded her head. "Okay." Then she squeezed Olivia's hand gently, reassuringly. That was all she needed to start.

"I haven't been here for the past eight weeks." Her mother opened her mouth to interrupt, but Olivia talked louder. "I was on a mission from the Secretary. He sent me to an alternate universe."

Those two words hung in the air like humidity, but when her mother didn't comment, Olivia continued.

"This other universe is like ours, but slightly different. There are versions of _us_ Over There." She stopped to gauge her mother's reaction, but her face was reserved. Olivia took a deep breath before continuing.

"Nine weeks ago, there was a breach in the Opera House in New York. Five people from the Other Universe crossed over to ours. One of them was the alternate me. When they tried to return to their universe, the Secretary took their Olivia and told me to replace her. I went back with them, to the other side."

Olivia purposefully left out the minor details of why the alternates had come here in the first place, and who the alternate Olivia had come with.

"The Secretary had their Olivia over here, and she eventually worked for our Fringe Division, as you probably already guessed." Her mother nodded for her to continue, but Olivia wasn't going to go down that road. She needed to talk about her own time in the other universe.

"My mission was to infiltrate their Fringe Division." She also left out important details of her mission. She wasn't sure anyone was supposed to know, let alone a civilian. She was breaking all kinds of protocol telling her mother everything she was.

"And I did. No one on their side noticed I wasn't her. I had assistance from our side, of course, but not once in eight weeks was there any shred of doubt about who I was."

Olivia paused. She was getting to the complicating part, for her at least.

"But since I had to _be_ her, it meant I had to keep up any relationships she had."

Another pause, and Marilyn squeezed her hand again. "It's okay, Olivia."

"The other Olivia was in love with a man on their team. He was all she had. And I had to keep the charade up so he wouldn't get suspicious. Mom—I…"

Tears welled in her eyes, but Olivia didn't let herself cry. She couldn't believe herself. She had gone soft, because of the enemy.

But were they really her enemy? No. She couldn't doubt herself. The second she doubted everything she had been told, everything she had been fighting so hard for, they would win.

"I betrayed Frank. I let him down," Olivia finally admitted. Her mother got up from her chair and kneeled down beside her.

"Olivia," she sighed. "You can't think like that. I know you would never do something to intentionally hurt Frank. You did it because you had no choice. It was the right thing to do. Right?"

Olivia looked down at her mother and shook her head. "That's just it. I don't know anymore. At the time, I thought it was for the mission. But now…"

"Do you still have feelings for this man?"

How was she supposed to answer that? She didn't even understand her feelings, hadn't had enough time to truly decipher them herself. Everything was so confusing. She just wished she could go back to the way things were before.

But she knew there was no going back.

She had to face her feelings head on. Which meant admitting to herself, and aloud to her mother, that she did still have feelings for Peter.

Slowly, Olivia nodded. "I do," she said weakly. Her mother made an undistinguishable noise and before Olivia could stop it, she was engulfed in a hug. She was about to shy away from her mother's touch—she felt so unworthy of it—but then she decided that she needed this.

If there was one thing she learned about the other Olivia from her time over there, it was that _she _shied away from anything that admitted she was weak. This habit she had of hiding from the people who cared about her, from blocking them out, was what enabled her to take the other Olivia's place at all. No one on their side truly knew their Olivia.

So she didn't care that it meant being weak. She hugged her mother back. Olivia needed to reestablish all the things that made her who she was. Or she would lose herself.

"Thank you," she said when her mother pulled away.

"Olive," her mother sighed, placing a hand on Olivia's cheek. "I'm glad you told me, about him."

"It feels… good, actually," Olivia said.

Marilyn continued to smile at her daughter lovingly. "I'm glad it helped."

Olivia stood up suddenly, motivated by the sudden relief from having that secret on her chest. "I think I'm ready to go home."

"Are—are you sure, Olivia?"

Olivia smiled. "I am. I'm going back to the apartment."

Marilyn looked both happy and sad for her daughter. It was like having to say their goodbyes when Olivia went to college all over again.

"I'll miss having you home."

"You can still come see me," Olivia said. "And we're still on for lunch."

At this, Marilyn smiled broadly.

"Lunch it is."

Olivia went upstairs to pack her bag. She was surprised at how few items had escaped the suitcase. It was as if the bag was ready and simply waiting for her to realize that she was ready, too. She picked up her new backpack, having lost the one she intended to bring back with her from the other side. The one with the only thing she wanted to take back to this world. A reminder of Peter.

But now, she realized she didn't need the strip of pictures. It had been a stupid idea to want to bring them back in the first place. It would only hurt to remember her time on the other side. And she was moving on, anyways.

With any luck, Frank would be back soon and they could rekindle their relationship. She would feel like she belonged again.

Because no matter how much she pretended that she belonged with Peter on that side, in order to keep up the charade, every time he called her name, brushed her hair behind her ear or caressed her gently, she knew it had nothing to do with her. He was doing everything for the woman he loved. The woman he belonged with.

And she felt angry for ever have been placed in a situation to jeopardize that. And she knew who was behind it all.

Olivia picked up her suitcase and left the room, not even looking back once. She hugged her mother on her way out and they said their goodbyes.

When the taxi pulled up to the curb, she gave the man her Show Me. When she smiled at him politely, the man's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. "Olivia?" he asked. She peered in the cab and her trained eyes caught the name Henry Higgins on his Show Me. The name didn't ring any bells.

"Do I know you?" Her eyes were like daggers, and suddenly Henry knew he had made a mistake. He tried to cover it up, but Olivia saw right through it. He had encountered the other Olivia before.

"I'm not her."

Henry nodded once and Olivia took her Show Me back. She got in the taxi and waved goodbye to her mother. She gave him the address to her apartment and he pulled away.

She could feel his eyes on her through the mirror and she looked at him.

"Something wrong?" she asked, annoyance seeping into her tone. She would never be able to escape _her_.

"It's nothing. I've just seen someone who looks just like you." Henry laughed lightly and Olivia raised her eyebrows, egging him on. "It's just… the last time I saw her, she told me some ridiculously far-fetched story and I never saw her again."

He looked at her again, gauging her reaction, but Olivia's face was emotionless.

"I… I figured she was put away, you know, for other people's safety."

Olivia shook her head. How much had the other Olivia told him? I guess she had no options, no one on this side she could trust. She trusted just about anyone with her secret to get back.

"Henry," Olivia interrupted Henry's rambling, an obvious attempt at fixing his earlier mistake. "She made it back home."

He stared at Olivia, not knowing whether he should acknowledge what she was saying. Something in her expression though convinced him that this Olivia could be trusted. He nodded. "Thanks."

"What…" Olivia paused, "what was she like?"

Henry looked at Olivia through the mirror. He saw desperation, and fear etched on her face. "She was passionate. Adamant about getting home. Would do anything to go back home. She was like a broken record, always saying she had to get home—to a _parallel universe_—and she didn't belong here. She said…"

"It's okay," Olivia said quietly. "You can tell me."

"She said they were trying to convince her she was someone she wasn't."

He looked at Olivia once more in the mirror. Olivia nodded, saying _yeah…__**me**_. At that moment, Olivia knew what the Secretary had been doing to her, to the other Olivia, to everyone in both universes was wrong. No one individual man had the right to take away people's free will. And that's essentially what the Secretary was doing. Olivia's view suddenly shifted. She no longer saw herself as fighting against the other side. She had been there, lived among them for eight weeks, even fallen in love with someone from that side. She knew they meant herself and her world no harm. They were all victims here, with the same villain.

They were all on the same side. And maybe what Peter said to her on that dark, cold night, when he had gone to get her coffee, about there being another way to end this war, had some merit. Maybe one world didn't have to die for the other to survive. Maybe they could all live together, in harmony.

All of her preconceived notions of who was the hero and who was the villain, who was in the right and who was in the wrong, came crashing down. There could be another way. Peter was right. And now it was her job to help the rest of her world see what the Other Side already knows: _that they were not at war_.

But to achieve this end, something—or someone—had to give.

"Henry?" Olivia asked after he didn't continue talking. "Did you help her?"

"I got her as far as Liberty Island. Did it help?"

Olivia nodded, and smiled. "Yeah. It did."

For the remainder of the ride, Henry was considerably more cheerful. They talked about the other Olivia more, but Henry didn't press for details on why someone was brainwashing her. He didn't ask about the parallel universe either, partially because Olivia believed Henry thought that was all nonsense. When they pulled onto the curb in front of Olivia's apartment, he helped her with her suitcase.

"Take care now," he told her.

"Thank you, Henry," she said sincerely. "For everything you did for her." Olivia knew that since her doppelganger was like her in so many different ways, she had been desperate to return home. She needed some hope to cling to, anything to help her. Henry had been her hope. And for that, Olivia was very grateful. She would need her other self if she had any hope of ending this unnecessary war.


End file.
